I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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