I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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