Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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