i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
