meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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