The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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