I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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