I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
