ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
