Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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