I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
