I got chris browned last night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
