somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
