We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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