so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
