i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I need a burrito and a hug.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
