This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
