I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
