i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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