Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
