she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
