ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He passed out mid-signature
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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