You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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