I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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