What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
