Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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