i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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