what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were destined to go to rehab together
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
