Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
