there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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