the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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