i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
