id be glad to
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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