Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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