Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
