I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
