Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
