i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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