what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize