I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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