Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
