You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
