Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Someone came in the potted fern
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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