It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
