You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sext me about skeletons
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
