you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
