home. puking in laundry basket.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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