I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
