What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
