Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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