Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize