those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
