McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
