I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
