I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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