things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
