my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
