i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
