u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
