You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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