Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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