Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
