I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
