last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize