u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
