Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
