Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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