Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
