Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
