i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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