I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
