my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
