So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
