The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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