I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
