Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Did I show you my penis last night?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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