so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
