He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I didn't notice because vodka
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
