Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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